Sickness With a Silver Lining

So I think our family has chalked up 2-3 visits to doctors each week over the last three weeks. Our insurance isn't loving us. It's been a crummy last month as far as sickness goes. When I woke up this morning with pink eye in both eyes I seriously was waiting for the candid cameras to pop up and say surprise, just kidding we wanted to see how much it would take for a mommy to go crazy. So I thought about glossing over it, not writing about it because who wants to go to a blog complaining about sickness, but it's life and life right now, Studdert Style. This blog is for my kids, a memory of their days, and ages and things that our family does and how much they are loved but that includes sickness too. BUT as I ran the gammet of emotions from feeling sorry for myself, wondering seriously how much longer we have to do all this sick stuff, how many more days I will have to listen to coughing so hard it breaks my heart and just try to be what my kids each need when they are sick, what all three of them need when there is only one of me. But as that voice goes off in my head, the one that says I can't take much more of this, there is another that says yes you can just ask for help! I have constant reminders and support from my friends here (and one special one in SLC). The ones I call to vent to, the one who showed up at my doorstep today with a Mocha Frapp that makes even the crankiest pink eyed mommy smile and feel thankful. I hear myself say God I seriously know that this isn't important in the big scheme of things, this is so small compared to what it could be, but I am tired and I want to be there for my kids and I need you right now to give your grace abundantly so that I can do that for them. I don't know what else to say, I hear my head saying. And then I heard a song on the radio that basically said it all for me, a Christian song so I sang along. All I know is the rest of the day, even when Carter didn't sleep from coughing so hard, and Brooklyn's other ear hurt and all the craziness of the regular stuff in the afternoons and evenings happened, I had peace. Knowing that God was taking care of it. I didn't rush bedtime like I sometimes try if I am by myself (when I say rush it still takes me an hour and a half from start of bath to putting the last one down when I am by myself) and this is what happened.

We started reading the bible story Isaiah in the kids Bible Storybook. It was fun because it was about a secret God told Isaiah, a GOOD secret and if there is anything little girls like it's a good secret. So as they both told me their secret; Brooklyn's was that she wanted to go pick out a new coloring book for Kennedy; and Kennedy's was that she wanted to pick Brooklyn out a new outfit this weekend. Both made me smile since all I said was do you ever have good secrets? Tell me one...they took it from there. Well after reading, it opened up ALL sorts of questions about heaven. When we prayed Kennedy said thank you Jesus for living and dying for us so we can go to heaven where there is anything we could imagine there for us...barbies, american girl dolls, everything. Then she opens her eyes and says to Brooklyn you can go to all these stores in heaven BY YOURSELF! To which Brooklyn interrupts and says, BY MYSELF?? Yes, KK says even TWO year olds can go by themselves. Brooklyn then says in her curious voice, CAN 4 year olds go by themselves (making sure she is covered); KK says Ya, even 4 year olds and it's FREE! IS it all FREE, B asked? Kennedy said, ya of course it's free everything is free in heaven. Brooklyn says, I want to go! But had I been in the same place I was earlier I would have missed this moment, either because I was in a hurry or too wrapped up in my own feelings of the week, day or hour.

We have 60% chance of snow tomorrow night and Friday. The girls are ECSTATIC! So as I was putting B down tonight she asked if she could wish on a star. She jumps up, flings open her shutters and fold her hands together and says "I wish I may, I wish I might, I wish I may, I wish I might, I wish I may, mommy how does the rest go? Then she looks up, says I sure hope that's a star and not just a light because I really want snow mommy! I sat there in the dark, so thankful that I could "see" all I did tonight.

So ya, it's been a crummy few weeks health wise, and again I have enough sense to know it's nothing really but it doesn't take away the feelings, emotions and exhaustion that comes along with it, but when you lean on others, and a God who cares about even the smallest thing it's truly amazing what kind of eyes he gives you back!

Here are some pictures of the girls from the snow last year...






And these are two recent pictures from the girls. We were waiting at the dr's office for me to be seen and Brooklyn gets this HUGE grin on her face and shrieks, "mommy, I drew my FIRST ever dog!" That right there made it worth it!



And Kennedy gave this to Brooklyn the other day when she was feeling yucky from her croup. The forever caretaker and encourager!